Jiraiya
by Yojimbra
Summary: This is the Tale of Jiraiya the Gallant and the peace that he seeks. With a mysterious gift from the toads and his friends at his side will he be able to make a difference and stop another war from breaking out?


_"Dammit, why won't it stop bleeding!"_

A blast of adrenaline shook Jiraiya awake. For a moment he felt like he was falling. His eyes wide open staring at the familiar ceiling he had woken up to for the past year. The room spun twice before he closed his eyes again desperate for a few more moments of sleep.

Why did his head hurt?

Blinding light pierced through his eyelids and forced Jiraiya to seek shelter by burying his head in his pillow. The damn buzzing of the light only made matters worse. He was vaguely aware of the three kids that sat near his bed. Did they have to breathe so loud? "Piss off!"

His voice was hoarse; his throat was dry and scratchy. His tongue felt fuzzy like he hadn't brushed his teeth in months. With a deep raspy groan, he held out his hand. "Water!"

One of the brats got up and walked out of the room. He heard the rushing of water from the next room over. There was a silent grace and decisiveness in the way the kid acted.

"Are you alright sensei?" The loud one asked. Why was it that the loud one always spoke first? Why couldn't the quiet one or the girl speak? They probably wouldn't make his ears throb. Any second now and he'd be asking about training. "Are you going to be able to train us today?"

Jiraiya hated being right and only groaned in response. He didn't quite trust his mouth not to burst into fire if he tried to speak again. It felt like he used coal as mouthwash and the way his stomach roiled, he probably swallowed it as well.

A cold, slightly wet, cup of water was placed into his hand. He didn't know which to do first, splash the water on his face or drink it all. From the way his skin felt like it was covered in dried syrup, he'd need a lot more than that little cup to get rid of the filth.

He let out a mighty groan as he sat up to drown out the sound of his joints popping in agony.

This was the worst hangover he'd ever had. He didn't even remember drinking last night. He slowly brought the glass towards his mouth, eyes closed tight. It felt smooth on his chapped lips.

He swallowed the entire glass like it was a shot of sake. "More."

He opened his eyes to see Konan holding a second glass out for him. The water was working miracles on him already. He eagerly swapped glasses with her. He liked her - she was quiet and obedient. He downed the second glass of water slowly, this time savoring the refreshing feeling.

"What did I do last night?" Jiraiya flung himself back down onto his bedroll, closing his eyes when he caught the full force of the single light.

"Some toad came and took you two days ago," the less noisy boy spoke. It wasn't uncommon for him to answer questions. Damn little know it all. "You arrived last night smelling like booze."

Jiraiya frowned at the pain when he tried to remember anything about that. It was all just gone. His last memory was eating a meal with his pupils. After that, it was as though he had fallen asleep. "That would explain the slime and why I'm hung over."

"Yea you left without saying anything, we're getting behind on training," the loud one bemoaned.

With a groan, Jiraiya turned to face his three pupils, all sitting at his bedside waiting patiently for him to wake up.

They probably weren't overly concerned about his health beyond his ability to train them. It wasn't like a hangover would kill him anyhow. "Fine, fine, we'll start training after I put something in my stomach. Who wants eggs?"

"We've already eaten, sensei," the loud one said again. Jiraiya eyed Yahiko up and down before he leveled a glare at his young pupil.

"And did you make me anything?" Jiraiya asked, annoyed. It hurt less to sit up this time. With a mighty yawn that sounded like a lion's roar, he fully extended his massive body, enjoying the way his joints popped. He wasn't getting old or anything, but damn it was getting harder to get out of bed it seemed.

Nagato coughed lightly to get Jiraiya's attention. "We weren't certain if you were alive."

"Yea you're old enough that I thought you were dead," Yahiko just had to add his two cents, he was rewarded by a soft tap on the head from Konan.

"I'm not that old!" Jiraiya bellowed and charged upward to his full height. He stretched his whole body and began to beat his chest like an ape. He let out an even louder full body yawn that was louder than rolling thunder.

A few cracked eggs later and Jiraiya was happily turning a failed attempt at sunny side up into scrambled. The egg popped and sizzled. A sudden pain flashed through Jiraiya's head.

 _"Don't you die on me!"_

 _"Dan no!"_

 _"Human life is so fragile"_

Jiraiya fell to the ground in a heap, his eyes dancing like a thousand shooting stars. His bottom jaw lurched forward as his neck tightened.

"Sensei!" Konan was the first to rush to their teacher's aid. She grabbed him tightly but his large frame made it difficult. "Nagato! Get some water!"

Yahiko acted first and dumped a pan full of dishwater on Jiraiya's head.

Air rushed into Jiraiya's lungs like it was the first time he had breathed in a year. He looked around the room in a small amount of fright. His breaths were heavy with no tempo. "Tsunade, Dan, Orochimaru."

"Your Teammate that wanted to kill us?" Yahiko knew his sensei thought of them as his friends but the way Orochimaru talked to them, like their death would be a mercy, unsettled Yahiko.

"They're in danger." Jiraiya scrambled up. He paused for just a moment to locate his fighting gear. "I need to go save them. I have I'm sorry I'll be back."

He could feel his heart beating like a drum in his chest. His entire body was ready to fight something. Their location pulled him like a rushing current ready to consume everything he cared about. There was little doubt that he had to go there.

"Hey wait, what about our training? You promised to teach us!" Yahiko grabbed Jiraiya's shoe away from him and glared at the large man intently. A furious scowl was etched on his young face and tears threatened to spill from his eyes.

Nagato and Konan stood side by side with Yahiko nodding in agreement. They formed a weak wall that Jiraiya would have to cross.

"I can stop it," Jiraiya did not stop getting ready even with a missing shoe. His feet were tough, they could make the journey barefoot. They'd need to be.

A small battle of wills took place and Jiraiya was the first to lose. His shoulders slumped but his breathing remained heavy and frantic. "If I go now. Right now. I can make it. I need to save them. Three weeks. If I'm not back by then go to Konoha. Look for Hiruzen Sarutobi. Tell them. Tell them you're Jiraiya's pupils."

Yahiko gave no resistance when Jiraiya took back his shoe. His arms flopped helplessly to his sides. "But what do we do for three weeks?"

Jiraiya shrugged and stood to his full height wearing his combat gear for the first time in nearly a year. It was tighter around the waist than he remembered. "You can still benefit from our previous training. Konan's in charge."

The three orphans looked at the door for a long moment after Jiraiya left. Slowly Konan turned to give the other two a smile as she folded her hands.

Neither one of the trusted that smile.

XXXX

The lands of grass were thick with needle-like stalks that stood a head taller than an average man. Added to the thick forests and staggering cliffs this made traversing the region quickly nearly impossible.

Worse still were the Iwa camps that littered the area.

Jiraiya looked back once more the little shack he had left behind was long since out of sight. Those three were strong enough to survive for now. As long as he got back in time everything would be fine.

With a great leap, Jiraiya ascended to above the treeline in a desperate attempt to locate friendly forces. Or get noticed by them.

The pull was greater now he knew the direction the same way he knew which way down was. He was close, so very close.

It was just a dull blue flash, barely noticeable against the bright starry night. It was familiar enough that Jiraiya knew exactly who it was. It was dan's Jutsu, that allowed him to separate his spirit from his body and use it as a weapon.

With his destination pinpointed Jiraiya launched forward leaping from treetop to treetop. He had no concern for stealth as he blasted through the canopy the branches cracked and splintered in his wake.

He was pushing his body and his chakra supply to its limits. He had to get there. He didn't know why it was beyond a want it was a need as deep as the need to eat drink and breath.

"Itaro!" Dan was forced to watch as his teammate was impaled by a stringy black tentacle, his intact heart gave one final beat at the end. The last member of his team had fallen. And soon he would too.

The tentacle retracted back to the conglomeration from where it came. Several pale white masks floated on an endless number of black tendrils. The body itself resembled a rag doll bursting at the seam. The heart was guided to one of the few vaguely humanoid shaped body parts. "Ahh, a fire natured heart, this will be an excellent replacement for the one you destroyed."

Dan retreated back into his own body. His technique was powerful but left his body defenseless. He relied on his teammates for protection, he often amused that it was an example of Konoha as a whole. Stronger when they worked together, each person compensating for the others weakness.

The return to his body left him dazed for a fraction of a second. He stood tall and drew out a Kunai. He was not going to die without a fight. Backup was coming. Tsunade was nearby. He would not let her see him die. "Why are you doing this? You're not a member of Ame or Iwa."

"Dan Kato, You've racked up quite the bounty on your head," the heart disappeared into the creature as it diminished into a humanoid shape. A headband from the village hidden in the waterfall with a straight scratch across its length marked him as a missing-nin. "But not really worth all the effort. No, I would have left you alone had you not been wearing that necklace."

Dan gripped his necklace tightly, it was the necklace of the first Hokage. More importantly, it was a gift from Tsunade. She was counting on him to change the leaf village. To make it a better place for shinobi so that less family would die. "What's so special about my necklace?"

"It's the first Hokage's I remember it well when I fought against him, in a way I won because he's dead and I'm alive." The man walked forwards.

Dan fought the smile that threatened to come across his face. The more this monster talked the better it was for him. Time was on his side he just needed a minute or two. "So who are you? You must be pretty famous to fight the first Hokage."

The man's stitched mouth split into a wicked grin and he turned his head slightly. "And what need would a dead man have for my name?"

A thick black tentacle shot out from the man's mouth with enough force to shatter the tree behind Dan. It grazed him, shredding his jounin vest and the side of his stomach. Had Dan been just a moment slower he would have been skewered.

With a shout, Dan brought down his Kunai on the tentacle. He only managed to cut through half of the coarse stringy material before it snapped back towards him like a whip. The force was great enough to send him flying into a nearby tree.

"You know, I'm a little disappointed that I didn't even have to use one of my jutsu to defeat you. Oh well, it'll be worth it to kill another person that wore that necklace." It walked towards Dan casually as though killing him was an everyday event. "I killed the last little brat that wore that necklace quickly. He didn't even know what happened and I doubt they even knew who he was. You, I think I'll let you die slowly."

"Piss off," Dan ignored the pain in his sides. He guessed he had maybe two or three broken ribs. He knew his chances were shrinking by the second if help didn't show up soon he would die. The world around him grew dark as Dan focused everything on dodging the next attack from his foe.

His foe pulled back as though to throw a punch. The stitches along its arm burst to extend the maximum reach. And then like a coiled snake it struck.

Dan winced as he attempted to dodge out of the way. His body refused to move quick enough to his wounds. This was it, he was going to die. He thought of Tsunade wanting his last thoughts to be of what little happiness he had found during this war.

An explosion lit up the forest as a quartet of explosive tags ignited.

"Never fear!" A boisterous voice echoed throughout the field and a curtain of white fell over Dan before the tentacle reached him. He looked up to see the broad face of Tsunade's teammate. "For Jiraiya is here!"

"Jiraiya?" Dan looked up in wonder he knew that Orochimaru and Tsunade were in the area. But Jiraiya had been missing for nearly a year now. Still, it did not prevent him from relaxing. With Jiraiya here, he stood a chance.

Jiraiya smiled down at Dan while his hair formed a defensive barrier around them. He felt exhausted but he had made it just in time. "Hey Dan, long time no see! How's Tsunade?"

Despite himself, a laugh escaped from Dan's mouth. He watched as Jiraiya's defensive hair barrier slowly retreat back to its normal style. "Perhaps we should wait to catch up."

"Right, how'd you manage to piss off a guy like Kakuzu anyhow?" Jiraiya assumed a defensive stance. He took long steady breaths his body was sore from his journey and his mind was desperate for sleep. But he could fight.

"No idea, but be careful he has hearts in his mask that allow him to use all five Chakra natures." Dan ignored the pain in his side and stood behind Jiraiya. "I managed to take out one but he replaced it with Itaro's."

Jiraiya nodded and flexed his fingers. "You can still fight right?"

"I can use my Spirit Transformation Technique to damage him but his body is unusual, I can't possess all of it." Dan began to do the six seals for his jutsu. It was fortunate that physical injury did not translate to his spirit form.

"Right, I'll run interference."

Kakuzu popped a few kinks in his neck. He let out a low growl. Somebody had interrupted his fight even if it was one with no prophet involved. But a small smile appeared on his face when he heard the name. "Ahh Jiraiya of the Sanin, there's quite the bounty on your head after your little fight with Hanzo."

Three masks on his body began to move on their own, the thick black tendrils pouring out of them began to form bodies for each one. Each one vaguely humanoid in shape.

Dan's body collapsed to the ground and once more he was in his in his transparent spirit form. "We just need to buy time backup should be coming soon."

"Heh, if you ask Tsunade she'd tell you I'm an expert at wasting time!" With that Jiraiya finished his jutsu and slammed both hands onto the ground. The Swamp of the Underworld Jutsu loosened the earth and created a thick sticky swamp. For physical foes the swamp was a hazard but, for a spirit like Dan, it would have no effect.

Trees around them collapsed as the area around Kakuzu turned a swamp instantly swallowing one of the masked beasts, while the other two had no problem quickly adjusting to the climate. Kakuzu stood unfazed by the swamp that clung to his body.

Dan assaulted one of the masks that took flight above the swamp. If he could locate the heart he could destroy it like the last one. He phased through and found the heart for a moment. He'd need longer than that to destroy it.

Kakuzu reached down into the swamp and pulled the third mask up placing it back into his body. He moved through the swamp as though it wasn't even there and charged at Jiraiya launching massive black tendril at the sanin.

A barrier of sharp hair encompassed Jiraiya and Dan's body, and the tendril's force was absorbed. Jiraiya continued to cast jutsu through his hair and launched a barrage of missile like hairs towards his target.

Lightning and fire erupted around the battlefield. For every jutsu, Kakuzu used Jiraiya had a counter. But they were losing before Dan could destroy one of the hearts Kakuzu would return it back to his body and would renew his assault on Jiraiya with an additional range of jutsu to assault Jiraiya's defenses.

At long last Jiraiya's defense fell.

"I have you now!" Kakuzu's arm extended outward in a vicious spear. He was prepared for Jiraiya to dodge out the way, where his arm would instead skewer Dan's helpless body.

Instead, Jiraiya rushed forward. Taking the spear directly and wrapped his arms around Kakuzu's body. The pain was immense as the tentacle pierced through his lower abdomen. Tsunade could heal it, probably. "Dan! Now! Do it now!"

Dan wasted no time to ponder the sacrifice Jiraiya had just made for him. He dove into Kakuzu's body and began to wreak havoc on Kakuzu's hearts. Jiraiya would have to suffer for fifteen seconds of agony.

"What no! Why would you sacrifice yourself!" Kakuzu struggled against Jiraiya's grip. It was rare when he found somebody physically stronger than him. Yet here he was unable to wiggle out of somebodies grip. "You bastard I'll take you with me! A thousand times over you'll die with me!"

Tendrils began to puncture Jiraiya's body. Blood began to pool at his feet painting the ground a rich red. The attacks grew slower and weaker. Then all at once, they stopped as Kakuzu's body went limp.

The world around Jiraiya grew dim and everything began to feel cold even the searing pain in his stomach began to felt like a cold winter's day. He didn't know how or when but he found himself staring up at the stars and dan's ugly mug.

"Stay with me Jiraiya stay with me! Tsunade will be here soon!" Dan held Jiraiya's head up in an attempt to keep the blood from flooding his lungs.

Jiraiya tried to laugh but it came out as more of a gurgle. He felt relieved that dan was alive, that somehow he had accomplished something far greater than what it was. But why did it have to be Dan? "You know I hated you right? I loved her too but somehow she choose you, so I hated you."

Dan forced a smile and nodded. "Yea I knew that, but don't talk save your energy."

"But you make her happy, so I want you to keep doing that, she's a bit of a handful at times," he couldn't help but chuckle at that word. "Though, I wouldn't complain about a handful of her."

Tsunade landed on the ground and bolted towards Dan. Her eyes widened when she saw who her lover was holding. "Jiraiya you idiot!"

Jiraiya smiled when Tsunade began to heal him. He could barely see her tears at this point. He never once thought that she would ever be crying over him. It was rather nice. Once more he focused on Dan and lifted a shaky hand towards Tsunade. "Keep her happy."

"You can keep her happy too, Jiraiya you're going to live," Dan grabbed Jiraiya's hand tightly and forced him to remain still.

"You needed to live. You were important. You're going to become Hokage. You're going to help make sure this never happens alright?" He felt so very tired but he needed to talk more. He needed to tell Dan everything.

"Dammit, why won't it stop bleeding!"

"I'll do that I'll make sure that there's a medic on every team. I promise!"

Jiraiya shook his head or the world spun for him. "No not that, the war. Become Hokage and find a lasting peace. That's what you owe me for saving your life. World peace."

"Don't you die on me!"

Jiraiya wanted to dance in joy at how far Tsunade was going for him. She was covered in blood, his blood. "So you get on that, I'm going to take a nap now. Wake me when there's peace."

"Jiraiya no!"

Jiraiya smiled up at her, the light faded from his eyes his eyelids growing heavier and heavier with each limping heartbeat. As his eyes closed he couldn't help but be happy that she would the last thing he saw.

Even when she cried, with blood smeared on her clothes and mud caked to her face, she was beautiful.

XXXX

"Sensei-"

Even in the next life his students chased after him constantly wanting training, wanting to have him guide them. Dammit of all the useless talents he could have gotten it just had to be teaching, why couldn't it be something useful like being incredibly attractive to beautiful busty women?

And what was with that annoying dripping sound?

 _"Uzushiogakure will fall."_

 _"I'm going to be the next Hokage."_

 _"The War's Over"_

 _"What have you done?"_

Pain scoured his mind placing those words in his mind like caltrops. Thinking about them stung worse than any bee sting and was an insipid poison that drew him in for more. The soothing sound of bickering was all that drew him out.

He opened enduring the blinding light that was cast upon him from the ceiling. They were in Konoha's hospital, the new one that had been built to honor the second Hokage. He knew those tiled ceiling anywhere Tsunade had put him here one too many times, hell he practically had a room on reserve. Something about being a reckless idiot that lacked enough common sense to be alive.

Wait. Hold on. What was the Hospital doing in the afterlife? Shouldn't he be surrounded by a harem of beautiful ladies for all the good deeds he's done? Or at the very least one. He'd settle for one. No need to get greedy, one woman would be enough if she was one hell of a woman. She'd need to be.

but he didn't have any of that, which meant - shit - he was alive, wasn't he?

Jiraiya moved his head to the side just enough to see Tsunade sitting on his bed looking far less happy than she should be. Which meant it was time for him to say something stupid. "Wow," She jumped, spinning to look at him. "Who would have guessed that all I needed to do to get you into my bed was for it to be my death bed."

"Idiot!" Tsunade she wiped a tear from her eye and glared at him; where was loving hung with her flinging her arms around him? "Do you have any idea how stupid you are? You could have died honestly for as good of a ninja you are you sure do make a lot of stupid ass choices! What were you even doing there?"

He gave a cold chuckle burned in his lungs. "I love you too."

"Sensei!" Konan tackled him, wrapping her arms around him and holding him tight. Nagato and Yahiko joined her stepping near the bed. "You're an asshole!"

Woah! Language.

"Ha, it seems like every girl in the world knows what you are Jiraiya." That would be Dan? Jiraiya groaned looking up, yep there was the smug bastard standing next to Tsunade, that overly friendly I-can-be-your-best-friend-smile on his face.

Slipping back down onto the pillow Jiraiya placed a hand over his head to block out the obnoxious light. "Can't a guy get a little gratitude? I did save your life. And I've been teaching you brats for free!"

"Jiraiya," Tsunade said, her voice the sound of silk, her hand touched his cheek with the grace of a cloudless winter night - peaceful, and a bit too cold - at long last she leaned forward planting a kiss on his forehead. Yep, he was in the friendzone now more than ever. "Thank you for saving Dan and coming back alive."

"Even if it did take you forever to wake up." Yahiko pouted, crossing his arms and looking at the door. "Really it took us forever to convince them to let us see you! I bet you were just faking the whole time."

"Yes, I faked getting impaled to get out of teaching your brats. For free by the way, I could easily have just left you all." He let out a groaned trying to sit up one more time. "What the hell are you brats doing in Konoha anyways?"

"You said to come here if you were gone more than three weeks." Nagato began.

"We waited four." Yahiko finished.

right, he did say that. "Wait, fuck have I been in the hospital for four weeks?" No wonder everything hurt. He looked to Tsunade.

"Longer, it's been close to six." Tsunade tried to offer him a small smile. and shrugged. "But guess what? The war's over. So it looks like you woke up in time for peace?"

Jiraiya's mouth went dry. That should have filled him with joy, to finally be able to relax and enjoy life for once was something he had longed for. War was hell, and now they had this fragile little notion called peace. But why did it fill him with dread?

 _"Uzushio? why would you want to go there?"_

 _"You're leaving? Again!?"_

Those damn words shredded at his concentration. Ahh, that feeling was there. That draw. That need. But it was dull this time, something he could push aside and pick up whenever he chooses. There was more than one, a dozen threads pulled at him. Tsunade and Dan held one, his brats held another, with more being scattered about.

"I think I need to go see the toads," Jiraiya grunted pushing himself out of bed.

"What?" Yahiko stomped his feet. "You're leaving? Again?"


End file.
